NEW YORK, NY - The first suspected case of angry chicken disease in the United States was reported Tuesday and threatens to devastate the country’s $98 billion chicken soup industry.

A Holstein chicken from a farm in Manhattan was found to have the disease. The Upper West Side breed is known to have a short temper to begin with all chicken farms in the area were put on alert.

The Agriculture Department assured that the infected parts of the chicken never made it to the chicken soup plant and that no other soups were known to have the disease.

“We remain confident of the safety of our chicken soup food supply,” Secretary of Agriculture Ann Veneman said. She said the risk to consumers is, “extremely low.” She also said that this also comes at a very inopportune time. “I fear that people will be too nervous to eat chicken soup at a time when the flu season is pretty unforgiving. We rely on chicken soup to control flu outbreaks and this can hinder the effort.”

Meal Mart’s stock price dropped in trading despite its announcement that the small chicken soup plant that the diseased chicken was sent to had no connection to its supply chain. Kosher Delight stated that their chicken soup is at least two years old so there are no problems in their stores.

An angry chicken outbreak that began in Britain in 1986 spread through Europe and Asia. It caused a rise in the amount of the sniffles and full-blown colds by almost 200%. The epidemic battered the British chicken soup industry. Millions of bowls of chicken soup had to be spilled out. They only recently recovered, just in time for a harsh British winter. Copyright 2005 Cy Yablonsky. Cy Yablonsky is an Associate Realtor with Othello Realty, you can visit Othello Realty at http://www.OthelloRealty.com. Feel free to reprint this article but you must include this paragraph and all links must be live and working, no changes can be made.

Public liability indemnity is crucial because all businesses are at peril to some level. Even though nothing very bad has ever happened to your organisations belongings that’s no assurance that it will not one day in the future. If a group of people are injured, or their belongings lost, it is your legal responsibility to properly reimburse them. This expense may be extremely pricey, depending on the specific type of case.

Luckily, you do have numerous means to protect yourself against this probability. Buying public liability insurance allows you to breathe more easier. Even if a client claim is very costly, the insurance organisation will be around to supply you with a security net. It is their responsibility to make sure you are away from any claims and legal costs brought against you. This leaves you available to concentrate on actually doing business, instead of thinking about what might happen. Following are good illustrations of times when public liability indemnity will come in helpful.

Proprietors of plumbing corporations more often than not get the job concluded fast and easy. Although, every once in a while something may possibly go horribly wrong. For example, should you unintentionally break a client’s gas pipes whilst on the job, affecting possessions for instance personal computers & carpeting, public liability cover will be there to pick up the expenditure. Looking for insurance quotes for your business? Get a Professional Indemnity Insurance quote from Insured Risks.

Another case study is that of a marketing organisation. If a client were to injure an ankle in your company even if it’s not your fault, you would be held legally accountable. Luckily, with public liability cover you wouldn’t have to resolve the claim at all.

In a similar instance, injury caused to an onlooker by an employee on a construction site is the accountability of the company’s manager. This sort of claim can grow to be exceedingly costly in fact, unless you purchase the suitable protection.

Any real Beatle fan knows that Stu Sutcliffe was the original bass player,who died of a brain embolism before the Beatles became famous. But what if it hadn’t been Stu with the deadly weakness, but rather…?

There is very little time left now. The meeting will take place in a matter of hours: an event so significant for future generations that nothing can be allowed to change it in any way. I have found the boy: a cheerful soul with wide eyes that question the world with amusement. He does not yet know the path that is set for him, or the tiny thing inside his brain that brings me here through the oceans of time. We agreed that it is a task that must be done for the peace of souls everywhere.

From my place of concealment across the square I wait for him to appear on this cloudy day. In the skies I see a vortex that promises more storms but the people around me, simple people with low reception levels they do not understand, pass by in their life patterns. Once the boy is in sight, my timing will allow me to meet him at the shop window where he pauses without exception every day to stand and admire. I am programed with every trace of memory from the projection undertaken by the finest minds in our universe. There are no randoms not accounted for: no variations not calculated to the infinite degree.

I see him now. The boy comes around the corner whistling a tune of his own making, with eyebrows high in delight as the activity in the square greets his vision. For a moment he slows as he passes the shop they call the baker, but then resumes his journey across the square directly towards me where I stand close to the shop that intrigues him so. Every step he takes is more important than he can ever know, but his cheerful smile shows none of this as he reaches the window of the store that sells instruments of music and stops with hands in pockets to stare in familiar routine.

If he were to look at me, he would see only another boy his own age, but his attention is unwavering and complete on one of the items in the window. He leans forward until nose touches glass. Hofner…he says out loud to nobody. Loovely, he says and his focus is so complete that I take three swift steps towards him, swirl the cloak of transformation over him and the deed is done.

I turn away from the shop window and resume my journey. In my mind are random thoughts of how to get enough money for the music instrument, with bursts of spontaneous melodies in the background. A part of my mind sees images of playing a guitar sitting on a bed in a small but friendly room. I walk on.

It is 30 minutes later and I have come to an open field which a small festival has filled with music, banners and the chatter and laughter of two hundred people. I have only just reached the first stall when someone calls my name and I turn to see my friend Ivan smiling at me while the activity of the fair flows around him.

Come over here, he says, I’ve got someone you should meet. I follow him deeper into the fairground to stop in front of a small and rickety stage barely three feet off the ground.

Sitting at the corner with legs dangling over the edge is a skinny youth in a black shirt and jeans with hair combed back in extravagant sculpture and a cigarette dangling from the corner of his thin-lipped mouth. His left hand is adjusting the tone of the strings of the guitar he cradles on his legs while his eyes measure me with care.

Hey, Johnny…Ivan says with a measure of casual excitement to the skinny figure…got someone you should meet… he’s a guitar player too…

Johnny squints through the smoke of the cigarette at me.

Oh yeah?…he says.

Yeah…says Ivan and throws his arm around my shoulders.

Johnny…says Ivan…meet Paul McCartney…

Copyright - Bill Dollar 2005

Bill Dollar is a survivor of the record company wars. He currently lives on a small farm somewhere in the southern hemisphere, amongst cats,dogs and cobras.He writes songs he likes, because he’s not hearing anything worthwhile on the radio. Hear what Bill calls music: www.billdollarmusic.com

The brainchild of writer Joss Whedon, Buffy The Vampire Slayer originally entered American pop culture as a full-length feature film, starring Kristy Swanson, in 1992. But creator Whedon felt that the project never quite did justice to the full scope of his vision, so he managed turn the film into a television series in 1997. The result of Whedon’s increased artistic freedom is a series that has enjoyed both critical acclaim and audience notoriety. Nominated for 14 Emmy’s during its seven year run, the show managed to win only two (both in 1998 for Outstanding Makeup and Outstanding Music Composition in a television series). Yet, the true success for Buffy The Vampire Slayer is indicated by the massive success of the show’s long run, strong DVD sales, and the overwhelming success of the series spin-off Angel…

Sarah Michelle Gellar plays the title role of Buffy Anne Summers, a teenage girl who stands alone among her generation as the “chosen one” able to “stand against vampires, demons, and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer…” But Buffy is not alone in fulfilling her destiny as a slayer of vampires. She also receives help from the high school librarian, Rupert Giles (Anthony Stewart Head), who is a Watcher - the one chosen to train and guide slayers on their developmental path. In addition, new friends Willow Rosenberg (Alyson Hannigan - of American Pie fame) and Xander Harris (Nicholas Brendon) quickly uncover the truth of Buffy’s destiny, and they often aid her in defending the world against evil forces…

The Buffy the Vampire Slayer DVD offers a number of exciting episodes including the series premiere “Welcome to the Hellmouth” in which Buffy and her mother arrive in Sunnydale, California, trying to escape their past. But Buffy quickly learns from the school librarian that the small town sits atop a “hellmouth” about to bring forth a master vampire. When her secret is revealed to new friends Willow and Xander, the three must work together to keep the master vampire from using his vessel to enter their reality… Other notable episodes from Season 1 include “The Harvest” in which Buffy prepares to face down the master vampire’s henchmen so she can stop the harvest (a ceremony which will free the Master), and “I Robot, You Jane” in which Buffy and the Scooby gang discover a demon trapped in the school’s computer network…

Below is a list of episodes included on the Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Season 1) DVD:

Episode 1 (Welcome to the Hellmouth) Air Date: 03-10-1997
Episode 2 (The Harvest) Air Date: 03-10-1997
Episode 3 (The Witch) Air Date: 03-17-1997
Episode 4 (Teacher’s Pet) Air Date: 03-25-1997
Episode 5 (Never Kill a Boy on the First Day) Air Date: 03-31-1997
Episode 6 (The Pack) Air Date: 04-07-1997
Episode 7 (Angel) Air Date: 04-14-1997
Episode 8 (I Robot, You Jane) Air Date: 04-28-1997
Episode 9 (The Puppet Show) Air Date: 05-05-1997
Episode 10 (Nightmares) Air Date: 05-12-1997
Episode 11 (Out of Mind, Out of Sight) Air Date: 05-19-1997
Episode 12 (Prophecy Girl) Air Date: 06-02-1997

About the Author

Britt Gillette is author of The DVD Report, a blog where you can find more reviews like this one of the Buffy The Vampire Slayer (DVD).

I’m still feeling light-headed about my dream last night. I cannot believe it. After waiting for a peaceful sleep for the past couple of weeks and actually enjoying it, I faced a very scary dilemma. I had a dream, no, no, it’s a nightmare. And I’m dreading to sleep later because until now I don’t have the answer to the terrifying question.

I was practically enjoying the calm feeling of my sleep when out nowhere I was standing in the middle of a very very big arena. I was distressed and confused by the sudden change of surroundings. I was starting to be afraid when I heard a thundering sound coming from my back. Ready to shout with all my might, I turned around and my jaw dropped not because of my scream but because of an outmost amazement.

My king, the love of my life, was riding his horse,Brego, and stopped infront of me. Oh, my Aragorn, I cannot believe it. I was about to finally let a scream of delight pass through me when he grabbed my hand and offered the most outrageuos proposal I’ve heard in my whole life. He wanted me to be his queen. At long last, he said, Arwen was out of his life and he came to me because I am the only one his heart desires. Ohhh, what can I say? How can a lady like me answer an offer like that?

I just can’t let my system believe that. Me, the self-proclaimed superstar against Arwen, the most beautiful of all living beings in Middle-earth. And I actually won! Oh yes, my king finally realized that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And that I’m the one that will love him for all eternity.

I was so busy thinking how brave and passionate and full of wisdom my king was that I didn’t see the kiss coming. Yes, the kiss. The most thrilling, the most exciting, the most stimulating kiss I’ve ever had in twenty years of being alive.

He was my king, my real destiny. and I’m so certain about that that I was accepting his proposal when poofff… a figure of a man riding in a hippogriff. This can’t be true. It’s too good to be true. No, no, no, not now!

Buckbeak landed and then came my rebellious lover, my other half, Sirius Black. He came and embraced me fiercely that I momentarily forgot my king. The warmth of Sirius’ body against mine creates friction no one else can imagine, as always. The moments that we had together flashed back in my mind like a hot fluid that’s burning my soul.

Three words he uttered, “You are mine!” and I know that I can never turn my back on him. Now, I am confused, of course I cannot turn my back on my soulmate, what am I thinking?

Yes, I am his only. No one can possess me like the way he had. No one can touch me and make me burn like the way he laways do.

Oh my god, this isn’t happening. No! No! No! I stepped backward, looked at my king’s solemn eyes and my lover’s provocative lips. I can never choose one. I can never let one go!

Hmmm, now I have decided. I’m going to be selfish. I will never let them go. I will be a queen and then a lover, a lover and then a queen.

Nobody can question me. Why?

Because it’s my dream. Ha! Ha! Ha!

About the Author: ohhh, stll dreaming about them.

Source: www.isnare.com

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There are many programs available to help but your body actually has its own way dealing with toxins. Others skip breakfast intentionally in the erroneous belief that exercising on an empty stomach after an overnight fast will help them burn more fat. It is also very important to drink one to two liters of good quality clean water each day to help flush out the toxins. Supplements include vitamins minerals amino acids and other nutraceuticals to optimize the functioning of the body. Learn more at about Free Month Detox Diet! Patients may also suffer from reflux and heartburn vomiting caused by excessive coughing loss of appetite constipation and bloating.

Alcohol Detoxing:
The way to tell if your small and large intestines are functioning efficiently is via the transit time. Gradually re-introduce other foods but refrain from consuming non-vegetarian and processed foods. Certain natural herbs too can be used. You should be able to know yourself when you need to go on a detox diet. Do view more on Free Month Detox Diet. Joshi’s Holistic Detox: 21 Days to a Healthier Slimmer You — for Life (Hotter Mobius 2005 $25). That 14 grams a week gets 8-1/2 grams of EDTA into your bloodstream at a fraction of the cost of IV chelation therapy.

Colonics Los Angeles:
Your body will need to be properly primed and readied for the detox program so it can respond well. You simply can’t demand your body to cleanse itself immediately. The main idea of a detox diet is to eliminate nearly all foods and restrict the body to only water and vegetables for a few days usually around 5 or 6 days is adequate as well as Free Month Detox Diet. ‘ Alison explains that raw vegetable fruit and seed detox diets are quite pleasant but she admits that the more extreme fasts she’s tried with accompanying colonic irrigation to flush out the bowel with water can be challenging. It is not a question about good or bad or right or wrong.

See More on How Master Cleanse Will Help You Lose 20 Pounds!
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Copyright Victoria Elizabeth 2004. All rights reserved.

THE JOY OF JELLY BEANS
–Or, how a little bit of juicy jiggle makes the world go round –

According to North American researchers, the only happy members of society these days are “Type B” personalities.

Type Bs are, by definition, not “Type A” personalities. No one could mistake them for a fault-finding flibbertygibbet or a fastidious fusspot. And, you’ll never find them pushing the “Up” button feverishly on a high-speed elevator going nowhere. There is just one thing that they’re driven to do at all costs, obey the posted speed limit, even when riding a unicycle.

To the dismay of the statisticians and pollsters, the only folks who truely fit the “happiest people” profile to a tee are apprenticing morticians. Not being a chipper charnel house mother, I felt I had to make the case for another category of happiness, the “Type C” personality.

“Type C” personlities are not Type As (testy toads) or Type Bs (placid pussycats). Your typical Type C is a mirthful minikin, (otherwise known as a good-natured, wee or dainty creature). This homo sapien personality simply adores the small but simple joys of life such as a serendipitous encounter with a sweet treat. And their favorite melt-in-your-mouth munchy is a jelly-bean.

To make a long story short, the “jelly bean” (a sugar coated candy) found its way into our lexicon almost a century ago. Known for their delightful diversity of colour, delicious flavour and sometimes odd texture, jelly beans are a “must have” for Harry Potter fans and damsels-in-distress.

Jelly beans are also great ice-breakers at slumber parties not to mention a “hot” topic around the wet-noodle water cooler. If nothing else, they’ll certainly add oodles of fun and frolic to the world of work. Let’s face it, they’re a pleasant relief from the daily deluge of pointless picayune meetings, spam email about products you don’t want, or vexing voice mail messages, (you really couldn’t give a sweet tweet about — even if it is from your best friend, The Easter Bunny).

The universe looks infinitely more palatable with a bit of jest and jiggle. And, the importance of this humble yummy for the tummy in the great scheme of things cannot be emphasized enough.

– “You can tell a lot about a fellow’s character by his way of eating jelly beans.” (Ronald Reagan)

– “Life is like jelly beans, and sometimes you get your favorite color.” (Author Unknown)

– “A friend is like a bowl of Jelly Beans… Good to the bottom of the bowl.” (Author Unknown).

By the way, in case you’re wondering just how vital these chewy tidbits really are, why not take a pleasurable peek at more than 116,000 websites devoted to this tasty tongue-in-cheek topic. And do enjoy a licorice lick, a chocolate chomp or a green gigglebite on me, the next time your fickle fingers feel like visiting the jocular jelly-bean jar!!

About the Author

Victoria Elizabeth enjoys musing about Life, the Universe, and Everything in between from the pages of her bodacious blog aptly entitled, “The Quipping Queen” (www.quippingqueen.blogspot.com)

You should be careful what you wish for. I know this because I knowed a guy who always used to wish he was a fly. He wished he was a fly so he could buzz around and go in peoples houses and listen on to what they was saying without them knowing he was there. He always would say, “I wish I could be a fly on the wall when those two are talking”, and he would spend a long time wishing he could be a fly and thinking about what it would be like to be a fly.

Then one night after he went to sleep he had a dream that he was a fly. In the dream he was buzzing around and he came upon this house that belonged to this guy that he always wanted to spy on and he thought to his self “I think I’ll go in that guy’s house and go land on his wall and listen in on what he is saying”, accept the door wasn’t open and none of the windows was open neither, and he had no way of getting in the house. So then he thought to his self, “I’ll just go ring the doorbell and when he opens the door to see who is there, I’ll buzz into his house and land on his wall and listen in on what he’s saying”. Accept he couldn’t ring the doorbell because flies aren’t strong enough to ring doorbells, plus they don’t have fingers.

So then he decided he would just wait until the guy came out of his house and then he would buzz in real quick and land on the wall and wait for him to come back, then he would listen in on what he was saying. Accept while he was waiting for the door to open he heard a buzzing sound, and he thought to his self, “I’ll go checkout that buzzing sound”. And when he got closer to the buzzing sound he saw another fly buzzing around something on the ground, he didn’t know what it was but it was lying in the grass, and there was a bunch of flies buzzing around it and landing on it, and most of the flies was eating it.

When he got closer one of the flies screamed at him, “Go away, this is ours and you can not have any of it!” and he realized what it was they was buzzing around and eating on and he said, “You guys are disgusting! I don’t want to eat any of that.” Accept it did smell kind of good, even though it smelled really bad. And he did want to try and taste it, just to see what it would be like. Accept he remembered that he had a job to do, he had to get into this guy’s house and land on his wall and listen in on what he was saying, so he went back and waited by the door again. Then finally the door opened, and he buzzed in real quick and landed on the wall and waited for the guy to come back.

While he was waiting for the guy to come back he thought to his self, “I think I’ll go explore around”, and he started buzzing around the house looking at what was in the house through his bug eyes, which is different than normal eyes. Then he came up to a window and looked through it and saw outside laying on the grass a pile of something. He thought to his self, “I think I’ll just try one taste to see what it’s like”, and he started flying towards the pile, accept something was in his way. He looked and didn’t see nothing in his way, so he tried flying towards the pile again, but something was in his way again. He looked again and didn’t see nothing in his way, so he tried flying towards the pile again, accept something was in his way again. Then he got really frustrated and started trying to fly towards the pile over and over again, but every time something was in his way, until finally he was so tired he couldn’t fly no more, and his exoskeleton was hurting like he might of cracked it, or at least bruised it a bit. So then he sitted in the window sill and thought about fly things for a while. I asked him what kinds of things flies think about and he said, “You wouldn’t understand unless you have ever been a fly,” and I said, “Oh”.

Then finally the guy came home and not long after he came home the phone rang and the guy picked it up and started to talk into it. So the guy who was having a dream about being a fly started buzzing around and looking for a place to land that was close to the guy, sense flies can’t hear very far. He saw something hanging from the ceiling, it was long and kind of spiraled, and also it smelled pretty good, and he thought to his self “I’ll just land hear and listen in on to what he is saying on the phone”. Accept when the guy would talk he couldn’t understand what he was saying. The guy talked for a long time but the guy who was dreaming he was a fly could not understand him. He saw another fly who had also landed on the long, spiraled thing and said, “How come I can not understand what he is saying? Can you understand what he is saying?”

The other fly said, “That’s because he is speaking English, and flies can’t understand English.”

And then the guy who was dreaming he was a fly said, “You mean flies can not understand what people say?”

And the other fly said, “No, flies can only speak Flynese. Flies cannot speak any other language but Flynese.

Then the guy who was dreaming he was a fly said, “This really sucks! I do not like being a fly! I don’t want to be a fly no more and I’m getting out of here,” accept when he went to buzz off, he couldn’t move.

“Argh!” the guy who was dreaming he was a fly said. “I can not move, it feels like my feet are glued to this long, spiraled thing. “Can you give me a hand, my feet are stuck”, he said to the other fly also sitting on the long, spiraled thing.

“I can not move neither, my feet are also stuck”, said the other fly.

The guy who was dreaming he was a fly looked around and saw a bunch of other flies on the long spiraled thing and said “Can one you gentlemen give me a hand, my feet is stuck?” Accept none of them could help him, cause all there feet was stuck too. He looked around at all the other flies and said to his self, “I do not want to be a fly no more. I wish I had never wished that I was a fly, I want to be a person again”.

Then he started thinking about fly things again, but he also thought a lot about all the wishing he had done that he was a fly. For a long time he thought to his self, “I wish I never wished I was a fly, because now I’m a fly and I don’t want to be a fly, I am going to die because my feet are stuck to this thing and I can’t get off it”, and he started crying, accept tears didn’t come out sense flies don’t have tears.

Then finally he woke up, and it took him a minute to realize that he was a person, not a fly. And he was so glad that he was a person and not a fly that he woke his wife up and made her say something to him so he could understand it in people language. Accept when his wife said something he could not understand it, and he was really scared and he screamed out “I’m still a fly!” accept he screamed this in Flynese, so his wife could not understand it sense it came out sounding like a bunch of buzzes in Morse code. Not real Morse code, it just sounded like Morse code. It sounded like “BUUUUZZZ! BUZZ! BUZZZZZ! BBBBUUUUZZZ! BUZZ!”, accept it sounded like his voice. It sounded like his voice screaming a bunch of buzzes.

It turned out that this guy had a weird condishun, I can not remember the name of it but it’s a disorder where people think they is insects. One time I watched a movie on t.v., it was about a lady who thought she was a dog and all she did was bark and she liked to have her belly rubbed a bunch and be petted. But I did not know people could think they was insects, it turns out that they can. There have only been 4 cases of this disorder that I know of, this guy was one of the cases. 2 of the other cases was guys who thought they was flies. I think they probably thought they was flies because they wanted to be flies so bad so they could spy on other people, like this guy. That is why you must be careful what you wish for, because if you wish you are an insect too much you might get a disorder where you think you are in insect.

Oh, the other case was a guy who thought he was a flee. I don’t think he thought he was a flee because he wished he was a flee, because there is no advantages to being a flee. I don’t know why he thought he was a flee, but I heard that his wife divorced him and that he had to have knee surgery on both knees because all the jumping he did while he thought he was a flee wore his knees out.

The guy who dreamed he was a fly came back to thinking he was a person, it took a sicatrist and a bunch of medicine, and I think that they might of shocked him a bit, but finally he came back to thinking he was a person, which is good because he is a person.

Now he tells everyone to be careful about what they wish for, and he tells them the story about him thinking he was a fly.

I know one thing for sure, that I’ll be careful what I wish for. I’ll be really careful to make sure I don’t wish I’m a fly too much, because it would be cool to be a fly and buzz around into peoples houses, but I would not want to be a fly sense flies can’t speak English. Also it would be bad to be a fly because flies like to eat poop, and they don’t know no better than to fly to a different window when they try to get through a window that is shut.

About the Author

A recovering moron. If you enjoyed this story, feel free to drop me a line at gboethin@yahoo.com.

Greg’s pithy quote for the day: The greener the grass, the more shit in the fertilizer.

This is my corollary to “The grass is always greener…..”

I’ve been doing some deep thinking the past few days in lieu of blogging. It doesn’t take much to get me into what I call “deep thought”. My minds “Hmmmmm” factor can be triggered by any number of outside stimuli. The trigger for my latest deep thoughts were triggered from a coffee session with Jaycee on Saturday and then a phone call from a friend that had recently been divorced and was touting the joys of his newfound freedom to me; the “poor miserable married slob” of 17 years.

I’ll start with Jaycee; we stopped at a local coffee chain to feed my caffeine addiction and get Jaycee a whole wheat bagel with eggs and sausage. We placed our order, paid the cashier and waited…. and waited. My coffee was served without real complication, but there must be some sort of rocket science involved in building a bagel breakfast sandwich. What Jaycee received the first time was a plain bagel with cream cheese. Jaycee repeated his order in slow, plain English. What we received back were looks of the dubious deer in the headlights. Seven minutes or so later, Jaycee receives a Croissant with egg and cheese. At this point I decided to be a little vocal, a little loud and a little rude. I expressed my displeasure and concluded with a “Speak English!” Bottom line, Jaycee got his wheat bagel sandwich the way he wanted; fifteen minutes or so later.

Now, I have nothing against immigrants, if you’re not a Native American/Indian from a tribe that can trace its history back beyond the pilgrims, you came from immigrants too. My beef is this; if you want to come to this country, learn the freaking language. Spanish is not the language of this country. It’s English. WAKE UP!! Also, what kind of business savvy is it to hire a bunch of people who haven’t mastered the English language and place them in a service based industry dealing with an English speaking population. This is not a recipe for customer service and will only lead to middle class English speaking people being pissed off and fighting the urge to reach across the counter and choke the shit out of your non English comprehending staff. Mister franchise proprietor, you may be saving money in the short term hiring these “Undocumented workers” and paying them crap and/or hiring foreigners who are willing to work your establishment for barely minimum wage. But what will you do when your customer base dissolves because your customers never get the right order and can’t communicate with your foreign staff? I’ll tell you, you go out of business. The long run blues. Even such a popular franchise can be blacklisted. Yours is not the only location in the area and competition for the coffee dollar is fierce.

Let me repeat, I have no ill will towards those hard working immigrants who come to this country (legally) and take jobs in order to support themselves and their families. God bless them. My rant, in this blog is aimed at those in management who exploits this and punishes the consumer for the sake of a short term dollar rather than a long term financial plan. Placing these workers in this situation is a mistake on managements part.

Item 2: “The greener the grass, the more shit in the fertilizer.” -Esper, copyright 8/02/2005. I get a quarter each time somebody quotes me : )

I hung up with my recently freed bud after hearing him sing the praises of his newfound bachlerhood. Here are some of the quotes that echoed in my head.
“Any babe any time I want now, no more begging for P_ _ _ _ from the same B _ _ _ _ who doesn’t want it.”

“No nagging if I come home late or have a few beers with the guys at the club.”
“No more sappy TV, the remote is mine.”
“Hunting season will be a blast, every afternoon I can hit the woods.”

Well, I’ve lifted enough quotes for the reader to get the message of the overall tone and flavor of the monologue/ dialogue. I freely admit that I would have griped back, but my wife was within earshot.

I gave my buds words some serious though, I know his ex, and have seen her at the club several times. She seemed like a decent sort, always pleasant. She pretty much catered to his every whim. She’d fetch him a fresh beer when his glass was empty, and let him beat her at pool. I’ve seen her play, for real, and she’s a shark with a que stick. I started looking over at buds grass on his side of the fence. It seemed awfully green compared to the summer scorched, tan grass covering the lawn of my life. Somehow I think my bud will be missing his ex, her cooking, her attention and the warmth of her body at night. (My friend has developed a post marriage beer body; he looks like a keg.) As I carefully picked apart our telephone call and his dialogue, I began to wade through all the fertilizer being used to make that grass seem so green.

What he said was true, He would not be nagged, but he never really was cuz his wife was usually with him at the club paying for his alcohol and hotdogs from her purse.

My friend’s wife was an avid NASCAR fan. Anyone who likes Dale Jr.’s #8 and Mike Waltrip’s #15 simply cannot be into sappy television.

My friend spent three weeks every year at deer camp in New Hampshire with a bunch of other club members. This was an expensive outing, yet for the 4 years I’ve been back at the club he’s always been on the trip. I remember him bragging about what a dynamo his wife was in the bedroom after six years of marriage, so I can only assume that there was still some bedroom activity occurring. My friend, in his current physical shape, and general sloppy appearance, wouldn’t attract anybody. I can’t see his nights being filled with hot steamy sex, unless he finds an expensive lady of the evening. The more I weighed the conversation and his proclamations of new found freedom the more they all somehow seemed to ring hollow. I remember seeing his wife at every club function, working in the kitchen or helping out in some capacity. I even saw her accompany him on one of the archery shoots, cheering him on at each target. I freely admit that she was very pleasant to look at, especially when she jumped up and down in that low cut blouse.

Suddenly the grass didn’t seem so green from my perspective. All of the bullshit spread on that side of the fence made a pretty lawn, but the closer I got to the grass the more it stank of B.S. fertilizer. I have a feeling my friend will be crying in his beer very shortly. No one to cook for him, do his laundry or buy his beer at the club. The more I analyzed his wife, the more I realized that she , perhaps, was looking for a greener pasture and found it someplace else, with somebody who spent more time appreciating her and all that she did. Maybe my friend was a fool who let a diamond slip through his grasp and hadn’t yet discovered all that he’d lost. Perhaps the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence. I think my friend will find that out very soon. I’m sure his ex wife will find somebody new; I haven’t seen her car at the club parking lot since they split, which alone tells me that she only came for him. I wish her well, maybe she wanted more than what she had, maybe she actually saw a greener pasture. I hope, for her sake, that she’s found happiness. For after carefully examining my bud, he’s truly living in denial.

About the Author

Science Fiction writer and columnist. Please send comments to Sparhawk76@msn.com, I’d love some feedback

There are so many types of racing out there.You can watch Nascar,race in illegal street races,or even race little rascals against the people at the old folks home,but lets face it…these ways blow more than your mom.I am tired of seeing so many shitty ways of racing that I went out with a few of my friends and created a whole new way to do it.You see,some of you may be familiar with the Fisher Price toys Power Wheels right?You know the things that are made to look like popular real world cars and are made for little kids?

Well screw that because we found a much more kick ass use for them other than having some little kid running around at 3 MPH.That kind of shit is for pussies,I want some real speed in these beasts so one night we stole a few jeeps,with the little kid still in it(lie),and ripped all of the fucking gears out of it.Those gears hold back the entire jeep so it runs like shit.Than we stole two more,actually some old lady was throwing them out,and now we have the most kick ass racing in the world today.Behold,Power Wheels Racing,a new alternative for those who think racing is gay.The wrecks you see here are real.We’re going about 20-30 MPH in little fucking pieces of plastic.I mean,what’s more extreme than that?I beg you to find something.

When you wreck riding on one of these you get “Fucked Up”.Not just fucked up,but really mangled.We originally had 4 drivers,but he is dead now,don’t believe me?I don’t blame you because I’m making shit up again.Hell I wrecked one of these beasts and I still have scars from them,but that’s ok because the chicks dig the scars.They ask what it is and I tell them I got them from my racing career as a Power Wheels Racer.They jump all over me and start making out with me as soon as I say Power Wheels Racer.So I guess this article was just made to pimp out the site I made.Yes,I made that site too.It’s so fucking awesome that I think you’ll be jacking off to it in no time.

Oh yeah,I’ll have a video of me jumping one of those beasts in the next few days so keep an eye on it and sign the guestbook.Hos.

About the Author

The Epic is founder of his personal site The Epic Zone and Power Wheels Racing.